Most of us would be familiar with the concept of using affirmations to improve our self-worth, manifest something we want in our life or get us through an exam or an interview.
In fact, back in the depths of time, Dean and I taught workshops on manifestation, stepping into your power, being your best self and more, where affirmations were often suggested as a useful tool. They are often suggested by health care professionals and life coaches as a tool for change, and I’ve certainly discussed them with clients who are feeling stuck or challenged by a situation in their lives.
But you know what? I’ve personally never been comfortable with the concept because I find them a bit fake, like the concept of “fake it ’til you make it.”
Secretly, many of us dedicate ourselves to working with our affirmations, but in truth our brain often has an automatic “Yeah, right” reaction perhaps because the outcome we seek seems unlikely or unbelievable to us.
This is mostly because an affirmation is a statement, and statements don’t give us any wriggle room. They can be confronting because they state that we are either good enough or we’re not. Since we’ve often spent years believing we’re not good enough or not smart enough or not slim enough, our brain automatically selects our default and rejects the offered alternative.
Affirmations can also have a tendency to make you question yourself even more. “Really, can I be my best self when I’m riddled with guilt or self-doubt? “I’m never going to be worthy of manifesting a new house or a new job? “How could someone like me attract a loving partner?”
When I talk about affirmations, I often have a vision of the people who stick post-it notes all over their homes to remind them to keep repeating their affirmations. The concept for some people will be like trying to bash a square peg into a round hole!
I’m sure that if you already have great self-worth or feel ok about yourself and your life potential this concept is going to work. But if you feel a bit wobbly about yourself and what you’re trying to achieve or how you look or fit in, you are likely going to find this challenging and it may even undermine you further each time you speak your affirmations.
Speaking or even trying to compose your affirmations may give you a sinking feeling, an energy drop, with your inner critic jumping in, sometimes louder than you can affirm you dreams. You likely will try and quieten that negative voice, and struggle on with repeating and repeating the statements that secretly challenge you, because we’ve been told this is what needs to happen to change things. So again we are being set up to fail and it’s really not our fault, it’s just that we need to change the process to get it to work for us.
This is where ‘iffirmations’ come in
Studies have shown that affirmations have the power to change the neural pathways, creating a new mindset and new habits over time. Mental health experts and life coaches tell us that it takes just 21 days to create a whole new habit and change your life.
But if you can’t follow through with this process because your default thought processes keep getting in the way, there is a better and more gentle solution, and this is where iffirmations come in.
Iffirmations or (if-firmations) are “what if” questions. The way the question is asked allows them to gentle us into change.
Because they’re a question rather than a statement, they allow us to think first, to consider the question and explore the outcomes. We’re not instantly confronted. They’re not telling our brain to believe something that challenges us. They just invite us to consider, to question, to explore, to create a new reality via a route we can come to believe in.
Rather than a statement we feel we must try and live up to right now, they are an invitation to consider if this could become our truth. This makes us much more accepting of them and allows us to consider “what ifs” that may have previously seemed impossible even to look at.
For me there is a feeling of excitement about a “what if” because it’s asking us to think about whether this is a possibility. You can dare to dream, you can move yourself incrementally towards the reality you are seeking.
Perhaps you’ve always pulled yourself up short when working with affirmations. Those old habitual thoughts kick in, “that could never happen to me” or “I’m never going to be worthy” or “I’m never going to feel any different” or even just “this ain’t gonna work!”
If that’s been the case, iffirmations may be a much better and more gentle option for you to get your head around. Perhaps you’ll find that the “what if” questions that allow you to dream will in time lead you more confidently towards affirming that you can do it and you will.
So go ahead and try an ifffirmation for yourself. How about you ask “What if I am worthy of . . . ?” You can fill in the blank with your own words to fit your situation or check out the great list below for some suggestions.
As a reminder, an affirmation would state “I am worthy of . . .” which we are likely to reject. However, posing it as a question instead, we find ourselves wondering what it would be like to feel we are worthy. Our mind will quite likely go in a positive and dream-like direction of imagining, before we stop ourselves with our old thought patterns. We’ll get a little further each time, until we are comfortable with living the dream in our minds and our hearts and creating it as our reality, because that is how the energy of manifestation works.
And while we’re focusing on the possibilities and imagining our potential, our brain is already creating new neural pathways. The brain changes based on what we focus on – the sciencey word for this is neuroplasticity. The more you consider the idea of being worthy or slim enough, the more space your brain devotes to this, meaning you’re more likely to keep thinking about it.
What about those of us who question everything? Those who perhaps like a bit of catastrophising, who worry and overthink . . . you know the type and you may even be the type. Affirmations just bring up too many questions, too many negative what ifs.
So how about using the “what ifs” in a positive way for change?
What about instead of affirmations we use iffirmations (or if-firmations) to create our new reality!
46 Iffirmations to Change Your Life
Below I’ve shared a selection of iffirmations created by Suzanne Manser, a psychologist in the USA, who I came across in my search for further information on this topic. They are so beautifully composed that I’m going to leave them as written for you to ponder. I’ve linked to her work at the bottom of the post. Thanks Suzanne, for creating something which I know will be useful to many.
Enjoy the process of rethinking your life and the insights your own “what if” questions and dreams will bring.
Think of this list as opportunities to change your life.
Which ones are you going to take?
For General Well-Being
What if I could loosen my expectations of how life “should” be?
What if life is not supposed to be smooth and easy all the time?
What if I could focus more on what I want and less on what is getting in the way?
What if I focus on what feels meaningful and what lights me up?
What if I don’t focus on unhelpful thoughts, feelings, or people?
What if I believe that I deserve compassion and love?
What if I I can find the time to take care of myself in meaningful ways?
What if I could make today a better experience just by how I approach it?
For Self-Acceptance
What if I am good enough, right now, without having to change anything?
What if I am not shameful?
What if I am not inferior to anyone?
What if I deserve as much respect as everyone else?
What if I decided to respect myself?
What if I am worthy of living my life as I want to, even if other people disapprove?
What if I could stop wondering what other people think of me?
What if I could stop focusing on my insecurities?
What if I could loosen my expectations of how I “should” be?
What if I stopped saying “should”?
What if I could see that I deserve to take up as much space as everyone else?
What if I started voicing my opinions, wants, and needs?
What if I realized that my inner critic is supposed to make me feel bad, not tell me the truth about myself?
What if I only spoke to and about myself kindly, the way I talk to my friends?
For Perfectionism
What if I am fully acceptable as I am, without being perfect in any way?
What if I could let go of trying to have it all together?
What if I realized that no one actually has it all together?
What if life could feel richer if I stopped trying to be perfect?
What if my attempts at perfectionism are robbing me of the ability to be authentic?
What if others prefer imperfect people?
For Anxiety
What if I could look for the interesting bits in life instead of focusing on the potential problem areas?
What if I could be curious about any upcoming changes, and about life in general?
What if I could do what feels meaningful even though I also feel anxious?
What if I treated my anxiety like an annoying roommate – just because he’s talking doesn’t mean he’s saying anything true, helpful, or relevant?
What if my anxious thoughts are not accurate?
What if worrying is a waste of time?
For Depression
What if I deserve compassion for feeling this way?
What if I can offer myself compassion for having to feel this way?
What if I can do meaningful things even though it doesn’t feel good or meaningful right now?
What if I can do a small thing today and recognize that as helpful?
What if my depressive thoughts are not accurate?
What if I am not the burden I think I am?
For Body Image
What if I could see that my body is not shameful – ever?
What if my weight is not an important part of who I am or how I live my life?
What if weight and health are not as related as I have been led to believe?
What if I stopped buying into the false news that my body is supposed to look a certain way?
What if I could choose to focus on more meaningful things than how my body looks?
What if I could respect my body for the fact that it single-handedly allows me to live?
About Melanie Creedy
Melanie Creedy calls herself “just a homeopath” because homeopathy is actually her whole world; all day, every day! While she’s dipped her toe into a multitude of modalities, is a Reiki Master, Master Essence Maker, great with a pendulum and has a passion for gardening and machine embroidery, her first love will always be homeopathy.
Its breadth and depth continues to astound her; covering the emotions, the physical body, mental health and of course the spiritual/life path. The energetic resonance of the remedies, whether made physically in a homeopathic lab or energetically on a vibrational potentiser, touch the core and guide us on our journey of awakening to the life we have created and the life we desire.
Melanie has used homeopathy since the mid 1980s and has been in practice since 1998. For many years she ran The Children’s Ear Clinic in Western Australia, but since her tree change to Tasmania, has a special interest in women’s health. Her first love and passion however has always been helping individuals manage their journey on the spiritual path with homeopathy and her range of essences.
Melanie works with people using soul talk and soul listening and intuiting esoteric vibrational remedies to remove obstacles on the path. This can relate to physical, mental and emotional issues which are often part of our ‘soul choices’ for this lifetime. Her approach is simple but deep, grounded, thoughtful and pragmatic. Not too much airy-fairy-speak going on here, just a drawing together of the strings of your life.
Melanie is a Licentiate of the British School of Homeopathy, holds a Bachelor of Health Science (Homeopathy), Diploma of Nutrition, Diploma of Yoga and she has been a Reiki Master since 1998